Mentally Healthy

It was a pleasure introducing a little bit about myself, but now it's time to start digging deeper into my "mentally healthy" life. Let's just rip off the band aid. I struggle with mental health, and I am at the point now on my journey thinking that I am "mentally healthy." When I say that I mean that I am where I am comfortable enough to tell my story and my journey of mental health. It was in my adult years when I was first diagnosed with seasonal depression. I grew up in PA, and for those that don't know how the winters after daylight saving ended my seasonal depression who kick in. I was always so miserable, sad, sleeping, and well depressed. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist and that was the beginning of a new journey.

After I was first diagnosed with seasonal depression, I was put on anti-depressants and I don't know if anyone has a sensitive body like me, but my body said "NO." I was first on Lexapro and was having scary vivid dreams to the point I was dreaming about my own mother trying to kill me. I immediately came off that and they put me on Bupropion, and as if the vivid dreams weren't enough that medication was making me so aggressive. You know the saying, "bad shit crazy," well that is literally what that medication was doing to me. To this day I have to tell doctors I can't take that medication because of how crazy and aggressive it makes me. After 2 fails of medication, my psychiatrist decided to put me on an anti-anxiety medication because that is where I was diagnosed with my second disorder. The good old, generalized anxiety disorder. I have been on Buspirone since I was 21 and I mean it does what it needs to I guess, or that's just the placebo effect. I guess I will never know.

Fast forward to today, I am in therapy, and I am 26 years old and since I was 19, I have been officially diagnosed with the following, Anxiety, Major Depression, PTSD, and I have a binge eating disorder. I do not want to go too much into detail as this blog is meant to touch base of all of that and just my journey, coping, and healing with it all. Therefore, I want to be open about my disorders and illnesses because I know there are other people out there that can either relate to me and my thoughts or have a similar story to mine. I want to spread awareness even if it is virtually. I mentioned in my about me that you will slowly learn about me throughout these posts and each post I will open up just a little bit more about my story.

xoxo,

Mariah